The dictionary defines purpose as “why you do something or why something exists”. By that definition, your purpose in life is why you exist. A strict religious interpretation: the universe or the creator has chosen a purpose for you. This religious association tends to hitch a ride whenever someone talks about their purpose in life, whether intended or not. Many non-religious people refer to their purpose in life, but a predetermined purpose isn’t really what they mean. Therefore, we should consider dropping the term in non-religious contexts (keeping the word in religious contexts is appropriate) in favor of “your goals in life” or, more generically, what you choose to do with your life. While goal is not a perfect word (potentially too associated with tangible outcomes), goals are at least assumed to be self-directed and chosen.

Even if you don’t have a predetermined purpose, you may still choose what you want to do with your life. First, you pick some goals. At that point, you could say you now exist to pursue those chosen goals. This shifts the power and responsibility to you. Goals and what you want to do with your life are confidently and clearly yours. You can discuss them without mixing them up with a predetermined reason for existing (purpose).

What makes a goal worthy or worth pursuing? There are many possible answers, but for this discussion I’d propose goals that are challenging and drive personal development or growth. Life strives to grow and growth mostly comes from overcoming resistance and challenges.

Let’s invert the question and discuss what does not make for a worthy goal.

The first is cultural acceptance. Most people choose from a set menu of culturally acceptable goals. If a goal isn’t on the menu, modern humans mostly don’t pursue it or they pursue it secretly. They are outsourcing their choice to the herd. Culture is fickle and tends to run in mimetic cycles. Culturally acceptable goals can still be worthy goals, but cultural acceptance should not be a goal filter.

The second is comfort. In the modern world, comfort often represents stasis. Throughout human history, striving for physical comfort was a lifelong challenge. This goal was mostly impossible to achieve, so the growth and value were found in the struggle to maintain some semblance of comfort. Today, with our modern conveniences, it’s very easy to get physically and mentally comfortable. Without the struggle, there is no growth. Comfort is an end state, not a goal.

The third is a goal you become comfortable with that closes off other potential goals and consequently further opportunities for growth. This is the most pernicious because it starts as a worthy goal, but through habit morphs into comfort. You first find something challenging, then you make a habit of doing that thing (which naturally precludes you from doing other things), then you call it your goal (or even purpose) in life.

Unfortunately, these three mistakes are all too common. Most goals are first filtered to be culturally acceptable (not a good starting place), are oftentimes driven by comfort as an end state (e.g., retirement), or start as challenging but morph into comfort. For example, you set the goal of becoming an accountant, a business owner, or a teacher. At first, this is a worthy goal. It presents challenges and requires personal growth. But, eventually, the challenges and personal growth slowly give way to familiarity and comfort. The goal no longer requires growth, but it feels comfortable, familiar, and enjoyable. Other goals feel intimidating and distant, so you just keep doing the same thing every day.

The best antidote is honest self-reflection: does this goal still require growth? Staying in the same career doesn’t necessarily mean you have become comfortable. You can continue to find new goals to pursue within that career. But opportunities for growth in life are endless and varied across many domains. Staying in a single domain may limit the breadth of your life experience. The counterargument: you’ll never achieve true mastery of anything worthwhile unless you devote a lifetime to it. This is logical and does not fall into the unworthy category because you never sit in comfort. Overcoming repeated challenges and growing over a lifetime in service of a single goal is still worthy. You’re just choosing the depth of a mostly singular experience over a variety of experiences.

What if you are so entranced by the possibilities that you jump from goal to goal? You risk never having a deep enough experience. The right balance might be a few well-selected goals in unrelated domains you can go deep enough on.